When the triggers are triggering…
Maybe it’s the time of the year with cooler temperatures or seeing someone from your past. Maybe it’s listening to an ears wide open song or the smells of fall arriving while summer fades. Maybe it’s seeing a Facebook pop up memory or viewing a movie, a reel or a tik-tok while surfing, swiping or IGing. Maybe all of those things plus many more can trigger memories both positive and negative. The reality is a trigger that starts triggering, won’t stop until it is fully experienced.
Recently, as in right freaking now, my triggers are triggering some pretty intense feelings. Feelings of pain, anger, regret, embarrassment, disrespect, fear, uncertainty. That’s a lot, but as they say, wait, there’s more. Throw in a side of chest tightening anxiety that makes it hard to breathe let alone function as a normal human being.
I'm supposed to believe all of this happens because fall whispers in the air or an unsavory person appears out of the blue, or a song hauntingly blasts on the car stereo? Absofreakinlutely!
There is no right or wrong anything, when it comes to good or bad memories. As I confront my own triggered feelings I am trying to give myself grace to feel all the feels without whining or wallowing in the dark abyss. Miriam Webster defines grace as “disposition to an act or instance of kindness, courtesy, or clemency” Treating myself with grace or kindness has not been a historical priority. Getting stuck in a memory loop of suck has been the…